There really is quite a bit to know about getting older, things that nobody told me when I was 40. I thought at 60, I’d be me, only older and a little slower. So wrong! Here are some of the things I wish someone had told me:
Q: Is gray hair like normal hair, only gray?
A: No, gray hair isn’t like regular hair. It is coarser and has a mind of its own. It must be tamed with generous scoops of product, otherwise it looks like this:
Q: What about other hair, like eyelashes and eyebrows?
A: Head hair, eyebrows and eyelashes will get thinner, lighter, and sparser. Other hair – face, personal areas, toes – will continue to flourish.
Q: Will I enjoy new hobbies in my later years?
A: Yes, sure, but mostly your interests will veer toward the medical: doctor appointments, tests, pharmacies, side effects, etc. You’ll have just enough time left over for the occasional crafts festival.
Q: How many pairs of reading glasses will I need?
A: One for every room, one for every purse, and a couple extra on the makeup counter. That’s about thirteen pair. Fortunately: Dollar Store.
Q: Can I still wear lipstick when I’m old?
A: Oh hell, yeah, but it will go on the lam, fleeing into the little
crevices lines around our mouths. Bye, lipstick, hello lip balm.
Q: Is there any good news?
A: YES, so much, and some I probably haven’t even discovered yet:
- Immeasurably less stress/worry, because most of the time we know how it turns out. Why worry, and suffer twice?
- People think you know stuff, and attribute wisdom and grace to you (you deserve it).
- You don’t take any crap, from anyone. If you’re returning an item and a clerk gives you ‘tude, you’ll have the most fierce, yet composed, face in return. In sotto voce you say: “Help me understand this . . .” Problem solved, trust me this works.
- You know what you love to do/wear/pay attention to, and that’s what you do. You know who elevates you and you spend time with him/her.
- You’re still here, and the beautiful things grow more beautiful every day.
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If only the hair on my chin would move to my head!! I barely have to shave my armpits or legs anymore and I have only 7 pair of reading glasses.
I enjoyed reading this Patti with the humour you have. Yes, less eyebrows, less worry, and im blind as a bat! i feel like my prescription changes every 2 yrs. As you said, there are those things you can’t beat, wearing and doing what you want, and not stressing over things.
Have a wonderful week!
Is this post an April Fools joke? If I wanted to read this sort of ageist downbeat crap I would subscribe to Cosmopolitan or Woman’s Weekly.
Aging doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I will be 72 in June, and I am more active and in better physical shape than I was in my 30’s. If grey hair,wrinkles and thinning eyebrows is what I have to contend with…bring it on! I can keep up with any of those thirty year olds in the gym who think they are such hottie pants! I love getting older!
thanks for this uplifting comment, Donna! xo
Aging can be different for different people, at least parts of it. My eyebrows are growing wiry white hairs creating a bushy effect. My hair, now white, got silky and curly and I love it. My evening ablutions include lots of plucking. Staying fit is almost a half-time job. Some people are extra-nice to me; others see right through me.
Your hair sounds wonderful! And yes of course, we all age differently; and staying fit does take a lot more effort : > Thanks for coming by. xo
Agree 100% with all of these! Someone needs to create a lipstick specifically for the over 50 set that is moist enough to hide all the “lines” but with enough staying power to stay on the lips. I have about 25 lipsticks, and none of them are it.
same here on the lipsticks! xo
My daughter recently texted me and said she loved talking to me for my wisdom. I told her the only “wisdom” I still had were the four molars in the back of my mouth. My daughter’s response (we see the same dentist): “Damn, she made me remove mine last year. Guess I’m screwed.”
As you can tell, in my family the women thrive/survive on humor. Clearly, you do, too.
LOL! Great story! xo
Patti, I love you and your sense of humor. That is the best of it all. You crack me up. Loved the “people think you know stuff” the most:)))) Tons of more beautiful days for you. xo Sabina
aww, thank you Sabina, I feel honored! We bought a tiny place in Greenwich Village, and now I can fly up to see you when you visit! More good coffee for us. xo
One of your best posts ever Patti!! I am moved by the wisdom, tfuth, and humor here! You should be doing this type of writing for a publication or perhaps a Ted Talk?
thank you so much, Jude. xo
thanks Becky, xox
This is wonderful.
Unfortunately, I am so near-sighted that my progressive lenses cost a fortune. Only one pair for me. And I am blind without them. I would love to have 13!
The other thing about not seeing well: soft focus on wrinkles and facial hair.
Thank you, TOF. I do understand glasses can be wildly expensive. My husb. wears progressives too. xo
Age-related alopecia (wouldn’t that be a pretty name for a little girl?) affects some of us more than others. I miss my eyebrows, but there’s scarcely enough leg and underarm hair left to bother to shave, anymore. Saves money on razor blades, one supposes … eyebrow pencils are pretty cheap.
I feel ya – that word “alopecia” sounds so inviting – but it’s a pest! xo