Resolved: Bad Habits I’m Giving Up

Bad habits I’m giving up in 2021. Resolutions – I don’t really make them. I prefer evolution to resolutions. Not only because resolutions have a truly horrendous track record. I prefer to think a lot and change one thing at a time, and see how the river flows. Like letting my hair go silver – it’s not a resolution but a day by day process.

That said, I am resolving (and evolving) to give up these unhelpful behaviors:

1. Comparing. It is the thief of joy. There is always, and has always been, someone smarter, prettier and more beguiling than I. I will focus more on what I do well, and not worry about the other things. We can’t all be ballerinas or captains of industry.

2. Taking loved ones for granted. I’m learning to really appreciate the handful of people who are dear to me, as life is full of unexpected turns (hello, pandemic). Saying “I love you” and meaning it, and behaving it, is a priority.

Sandy and me on Early Voting day. If I had been given his hair, I would rule the world.

3. Being motivated by guilt. My former therapist told me, “Either dump the guilt, or do things that make you feel good about yourself.” Feeling guilty for no good reason is the worst of my bad habits.

4. Owning other people’s problems. I am not the big fixer, though I have wanted to be. I want to support and listen but I don’t have to take on the weight of the world. All those people survived for hundreds of thousands of years without me.

Work it out, socks. Source.

5. Believing all my time has to be accounted for. Even if I weren’t retired, I still could have unstructured time. It’s OK to relax, read a novel on a park bench, listen to Ray Charles, or browse the New York Times Style and Real Estate sections. We all can slow down a little, we women who Get It All Done.

Not that you have any bad habits! But is there anything you’d like to do differently in 2021? Share in the comments, please. 😊

Stay fabulous and safe, wash and wash and wash (your hands), xo

Also resolved: wear the things I love the most. Here are some goodies to browse:

Please be aware that links to vendors may be affiliate links. I may benefit from your purchases through the links on the blog. Header Image by Sambeet D from Pixabay

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patti

25 Comments

  1. amazing article thanks for sharing such a super article
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  2. Happy new year Patti from Lancashire in the UK.
    I don’t make NY resolutions either, but if I was to say anything I’d say I’m going to learn to not feel guilty about being retired and appreciate my time and spend it as I want and not how I feel I should.
    It’s a tricky one isn’t it after a lifetime of working.
    Take care both of you.
    Lynn x

    • Hello Lynn and thanks for coming by from the UK. I relate to your decision to not feel guilty about enjoying your retirement! Same here. Savor the day, and stay safe, xx.

  3. As with so many things, moderation is the key. Comparing can steal joy or it can motivate or enlighten. I would have been in a dead-end career-wise if I had done as I was brought up–don’t speak until called on, wait your turn, what you have is probably what you deserve. Instead, I saw myself getting steamrolled by people (mostly men but not always) who I knew weren’t as smart. I started volunteering for more responsibilities and getting promoted. I certainly wouldn’t be living abroad if not for having seen others do it and think, why not me too? The thing is keeping it as a wind at your back, pushing you forward, and not a weight dragging you down.
    My 2020 resolution to get in shape backfired badly when I slipped and fell while running and dislocated my elbow. I might never get back full use of my arm.

    • Good morning and happy new year, TOF! You make excellent points, and thank you for taking the time to comment. Love the expression “a wind at your back.” Stay well and safe, xx.

  4. Such a great post, Patti, full of reminders and wise words. Thank you – I needed to read this.

    A very Happy New Year to you, Sandy and your furry fam. Here’s to a year ahead of peace, good times and joy in the small things.

    XO
    Sheila

    • Thank you Sheila, for reading and coming over on New Year’s Eve. I wish the same good things back to you and your loved ones. Stay safe and fab, xx.

  5. Fantastic post.
    Many thanks for all your posts from Vancouver Islsnd.
    Happy New Year!!!

    • Hello Lilija and thank you for coming by and commenting! Vancouver Island is simply beautiful. Happy new year, xx.

  6. This is a great post! I definitely saw myself in your unhelpful behaviors and, like you, plan to “evolve” in 2021! Happy New Year!!

  7. It’s valuable to reflect on our lives and commit to improvements. Your points are sound ones and it appears you see the path to progress. I hope to be more courageous and less cautious next year. Happy New Year.

    • Good morning dear Ally and thanks for coming by. Courage is needed, and from what I know of you, you’ve got a good portion already. Happy new year, xx.

  8. Happy New Year to you and yours. Your weekly articles are such a Blessing. Thank you especially for today’s wonderful profound positive sharing .I so related to everything you wrote. My new path is evolution toward more consciousness to the beauty and gifts in life which your articles always contain.

    • Thank you Joan for coming by and for your gracious comments! A focus on the beauty in life is a wonderful path. Happy new year! xx

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