Big Girls Do Cry

We are in our new home now – a condo, actually, with gorgeous views of the Atlantic Ocean. It’s still a big mess, lots of boxes to unpack and we haven’t touched “decor” yet. Our wonderful, familiar king-sized mattress did the job of helping us feel a bit homey. Then King used it for a litter box! (It’s OK, he’s stressed and trying to adjust).

But when we went back to the cottage to retrieve last-minute paraphernalia, I had an unexpected, and vigorous, cry. The old house was so good to us – we knew every crack and groan, every scent from the lush garden. But we had decided we wanted to move, to downsize and simplify, so we did. So what were the tears about?

I reflected on this (naturally — the unexamined life being not worth living and all that), and I think age is part of the answer. The future, while still promising, is foreshortened. We aren’t going to buy a dozen more homes, maybe only two or maybe none. So as any of us who’ve crossed the mid-line have noticed, every day seems more valuable, and change can feel momentous.

We only live in one direction, forward, so on we go with plans large and small. New views, both physical and emotional await. But a good cry is OK too, for leaving and changing and moving on.

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  1. Your poignant post prompted a good cry here… your words echo to my soul.  Sending love your way.

  2. I can understand your sentiment entirely–and as you know, we are thinking of moving too and we have done the run through.  Much joy and happiness to you in your new abode!

  3. Leaving any place that's been your home is a powerful thing, I think. I still remember when we moved from a rental that we'd been in for only 6 years. We were only in our twenties, and we hadn't raised children there, or anything.  Even my husband, who had disliked the area a lot and was glad to leave, found it very difficult to leave that house for the last time. But the good news, of course, is that making a home in a new place is so very exciting!  Enjoy it.

  4. Wow I had never thought of change in that way … the penny dropped for you in those moments back at the cottage and I certainly understand the value of every moment even more after reading your post.  My eldest son flew up from Melbourne tonight to visit us for a long weekend and I feel so grateful that we're all together tonight.  Thankful:) xo

  5. Very  sentimental and the best way to start your new life by the ocean. This new place will change you in ways you've never expected.

  6. Beautifully and poignantly written, Patti. Thank you for giving us this peek into your beautiful soul. ~Sarah

  7. I know what you mean, both about leaving behind a wonderful home and seeing the future in more limited terms. When my sister turned 50 she said she wasn't going to worry about getting older, she was going to look forward to less responsibility! I guess it's a matter of perspective – maybe we won't have a million options ahead of us, but we won't have so much work to do either!

  8. I completely understand the tears.  Your previous home holds so much of your and your family's energy, even when empty of furnishings,  that it would be very hard not to be emotionally moved to tears when saying goodbye.  I commend you for being so understanding of King.  Should he have difficulty settling in, I would be happy to try and help.  You've done so much for me.

    Sue xo

  9. Your reminiscing kinda reminds me of the lyrics from Jimmy Buffett's "Boats to Build" song.

  10. Tears that seem to spring out of nowhere are so often odd, puzzling, but in this case, understandable. Goodbyes are tricky things. And your new uninterrupted horizon-lines sound like heaven. 

  11. I know the feeling. Much happiness in your new home, and lovely memories of the one you've just left.

  12. Gorgeous view!! I know what you're going through–I felt the same way when we moved to this house. It was 75 miles from where I had always lived..AND we would be empty nesters.  But life moves on and it's all a new adventure every day!
    Happy Thanksgiving!

  13. Nothing like a little cat poop to break in the house? Lol! For real though, sorry about that. Life changes, it's scary even when it's for good things. Crying does help release stress. Sometimes you gotta let it out. Congrats on the new place, the view is beautiful. I know you have many more rich and beautiful days ahead. It's awesome that you get to spend them in a home of your own.

  14. Is that the view? If so, I would be crying with happiness. I know how you feel though. We have lived in our present house for 22 years and although it has never been my dream house there are so many memories. Mydaughter was born in this house.

  15. Dearest Patti,
    Are you now in Florida in the palm region? That at least would make up quite a lot for what you left behind… It is never easy to uproot yourself but guess you did it for good reasons. Hope you will be 'nesting' soon and feel home again. Happy Thanksgiving anyway!

  16. I can understand the emotional loss of letting go of part of your life. You had so many memories there. 
    I think you are right that we all feel the sand sifting through the hourglass of our lives and it seems to be speeding up towards the end. It's depressing honestly. I never understood the phrase "youth is wasted on the young" until I passed 40. Now I think about it almost daily. 


  17. Oh it's completely understandable that you would shed some tears, Patti, you loved your old house, and despite the fact that you chose to move, it's still sad to leave a happy home behind. Lots of good memories to take with you though, and lots of opportunities to make new memories in your new home. Hope you feel settled soon. xxx

  18. Hi Patti – I know what you mean – Mr D is selling his flats and then we will probably sell the huge first floor we live in now to downsize as well – Looking forward to it because it will mean that i will not have to work 12 months out of the year – I will spend 4 or 6 months in the warmth when we get there!

    Ariane xxx

  19. it always takes some time until the new home makes us feel that it is the right one for us. regardless of the advantages it offers. the old home is approved as a good comfortable home, it is worth to leave some tears. i hope you, your husband and the cats will feel comfortable in the new home soon. 

  20. I hope your new home brings you a million happy memories. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Happy Thanksgiving! 

  21. I know the feeling.  But then I think about people I didn't meet until I was grown who would have been about the age I am now, and how they seem like they've been in my life such a long time.

    I still have time to be in the lives of others a long time.

  22. Yes, a good cry now and then cleanses our souls…it's SO okay!
    "Cherish your memories of yesterday and embrace the changes that is to come." My go to phrase when I'm feeling a little blue.

    Ahhh….the view of the ocean….it's calling me!

    Happy Thanksgiving, Patti! 

  23. That's a beautiful view, Patti.
    This kind of change is big.  I can understand your melancholy.  I have a feeling that you are going to look at that view and fall in love with it, fall in love with a simpler life.
    Until then, cry away……..

  24. First of all, wow, what a view to see every day.  I think middle age is predominantly about dealing with changes and saying good bye to memories.  A good cry is warranted and with the stress of moving, probably needed.  Looks like the new memories you are making will be amazing.

  25. We do need to take the time to mourn what is gone, whether it's a home or a pet or just a change that is drastic. Then we can move on and appreciate the change. Good luck in your new home, Patti!

  26. Oh Patti. I hear you. We're house hunting right now for the same reason. Downsizing..a little bit more relaxed life style. Sigh…we just putting those sox on every day, Girl!

  27. Yeah, thatta girl.  I know what you mean, the aging thing, past a certain point and suddenly the future looks so much closer than before.  And it's all okay too, just more vivid.  Like putting on the reading glasses.

  28. Such a beautiful view.  In a few more years we will be doing the same and I too am feeling a little melancholy about it. 

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