That’s the title of Diane von Furstenberg’s new book: The Woman I Wanted To Be. I saw her at a book-signing in NYC and she’s still gorgeous and compelling. I haven’t read the book yet, but she has had an amazing life as a designer, businesswoman, Princess, wife, mother and more.
As for me, the woman I wanted to be was always non-traditional, as far back as I can remember. I cannot recall a time when I wanted to have children, for example. I know now, and I must have known back then, that it wasn’t a good choice for me.
I wanted to have a partner, and I love being married now. I wasn’t very good at it in my twenties. I’ve never cared for cooking, and haven’t hosted a Christmas dinner in my life. I don’t decorate for the holidays. I have complete respect and awe for the women who have done, and continue to do these things.
Work and academics were central to me. Like many of my generation I was the first in my family to graduate college. I loved being a Bachelor Girl in Boston and Washington D.C., and doing all the things BG’s do on the regular.
I’ve worked in big cities, traveled, gone to graduate school, opened a therapy practice, and rescued cats, and lived by the sea. New York City will be my next big adventure, I hope. As I recount this life, it sounds self-absorbed. I hope it hasn’t been. I’ve tried to do well by my patients. I have an egalitarian marriage that gets better all the time. I look forward to volunteering for the Red Cross and the Cat Thrift and more.
|Hold on, I’m coming. Map of Greenwich Village.
All in all, I have become the woman I wanted to be. The journey isn’t over, but I’m just six months from age 60, and I am who I am. I know I have missed out on many joys (and some heartache) by staying child-free. I won’t have any grandchildren to cuddle, or a big table around me at Christmas. I’ll have memories and peace all the same, lots of memories and peace.
Have you taken a road less traveled? I would love to hear.