How not to have an ageless face. Not talking about my own face, it’s doing OK, while showing a bit of wear. I mean the (now-deceased, RIP) dermatologist featured in The New York Times in 2014. His name was Frederic Brandt, and he was an in-demand doc to the stars.
Dr. Brandt’s businesses were wildly successful and he practiced in both Manhattan and Miami Beach. In the Times article, he sounded like a pleasant, intelligent, and kind person. But his face looked odd to me: almost alien in its smoothness. Ageless, but in a discomfiting way.
I am all in favor of self improvements, and have had my share: caps on some of my teeth, and pre-pandemic: expensive hair color, pedicures, facial peels, and more. But I have a fear of changing my face too much, so that I become either unrecognizable or bizarre-looking, or both.
All told, my concerns about my aging appearance are luxurious first-world problems. Here are some of the reader comments that appeared with the article, and that match my feelings:
- “I do not see my wrinkles and sags as something cruelly inflicted on me. If we have had the good fortune to live on this earth long enough to have our skin wrinkle and our bodies give in to gravity, why refer to it as cruel and try to hide it? Why not celebrate it?”
- “Here’s some beautiful women who are great role models for aging gracefully – https://www.advanced.style/. As one of the women in Ari Seth Cohen’s documentary says, ‘Young women, you’re going to be an old woman some day. Don’t worry about it. Don’t sweat it.”
- “As a member of the baby boomer generation, I watch every morning as I sprout more gray hair and see my face fall. Some days I don’t know who’s looking back at me in the mirror…is it my mother? I consider my aging appearance a sign of my wisdom. My six+++ decades on Earth have given me a lot of knowledge and I’m not afraid to show it.”
- “I live in Spain now, and although youth is accepted and appreciated here also, so are all ages. Spokesmodels are often in their 50s, 60s and 70s. So, the youth worship/age terror is neither universal nor inevitable.”
So, my plan is to stay healthy/fit, use my usual quart of sunscreen, move to Spain 😊 and try to skid into the grave “sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”
What’s your idea of an ageless face?
Stay safe, wash and wash and wash (your hands), xo
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I love the excellent answer my friend gives when people ask her what she’s going to do with her time now that she’s retired. She says “I have a new job now – my job is to stay fit and healthy” .
That is the perfect answer, Christine! Thanks for coming over and sharing, and please stay well and safe, xx.
I can deal with everything but I just wish that my eyelids don’t feel like they weigh 50 lbs. I’m sure my eyes would look larger.
Darn gravity, always at work. If you’re having trouble reading because of your eyelids, insurance may pay for a small lift. Thanks for coming by, Jean, and stay well and safe! xx
So fab attitude!, love the way you’ve expressed these ideas!. I’m also totally in favor of self improvements, but some women have lost their personality and real beauty because of extreme surgery. I always think that this is related to insecurities, lack of confidence, and the pressure to look young forever. It’s better to be true to yourself, wrinkles and all, and embrace your own personality!.
If you move to Spain, you’d be welcome!. I have enjoyed the comment on people accepting diversity here in Spain, it made me feel proud (even if it’s not always so good!)
Hello Sra and thank you for coming over with your wise words. You are so right, it’s impossible to be “young forever”! I may move to Spain some day, and we will have a coffee together. xx
I am 71 and people always think I am much younger – about 15 years. I’ve had no work or fillers done. I didn’t sun bathe much when I was young though. I wasn’t a pretty girl – actually I was plain and had a lazy eye ( an operation fixed that later on in life). My family circumstances were unusual too so I had to rely on being an interesting person who was lively and later I became reasonably well educated. I never had beauty to fall back on I had to be someone in my own right.
I am often considered good looking today but its because of cultivating a vibrant attitude to life and not seeking the approval of other people very much. Also I have learnt how to dress well – not young but interesting and colourfully chic in a classic way.
I think because I never had beauty when young I have avoided being beauty’s hostage unlike many women who were gorgeous when young and felt its loss when it went and they didn’t know how to make something of themselves as a person.
Be yourself and don’t allow others to treat you a certain way just because of your gender, status or age. Everyone likes a cheerful, confident person who is empathic but also knows their own mind and is competent.
Thank you Angela for this marvelous comment. It makes me happy all the way down to read that you’ve never felt like “beauty’s hostage.” Your last sentence describes exactly the kind of people I enjoy, and age makes no difference. Stay safe and well, xx.
One benefit of mask-wearing is that nobody sees my suddenly deepening naso-labial lines. With bangs covering my forehead and thick glasses, only the tops of my cheekbones show, and they’re doing fine.
I just met my new neighbor, someone I had already noticed in our small city–she’s “that facelift woman.” She looks like Joan Rivers–she’s in her mid-70s at the least, but her face is pulled back to an almost comic level by facelifts and her lips are cartoonishly puffed out. There’s a line between maintenance and going overboard, and she has crossed it.
Norma Kamali is an inspiration for me. No idea whether she has had work done, but if so, it’s subtle. Anna Wintour, too.
Attitude matters more than wrinkles. Good posture and confidence are always attractive and make others respect you.
Hello TOF and thanks for coming by. I agree the line between “maintenance” and “too far” can be a wavy one. And yes, attitude matters the most! That’s what we need to teach young people who are insecure about their looks. Have a wonderful day, stay safe and fabulous, xx.
I liked that Dr. Brandt stressed looking fresh. It seems a lot of young women place no value on looking fresh. I see quite a few wearing false eyelashes and carefully drawn heavy eyebrows. Some older women seem to think the more makeup they wear, the better they look, whether glamorous and youthful I don’t know. Looking “fresh” as we age is more challenging but that is my goal at age 80.
Hi Carol and good morning to you. Thanks for your thoughtful comment, and I agree about excess makeup. Yes, Dr. Brandt had some good ideas, and products too. Sad that he’s gone. Stay well, xx.
Oh, Patti, this is just what I needed today! Your words are so comforting, especially as I try and manage my worry, fear and frustration over the pandemic and the state of the world. I work hard to remain strong, fit and healthy and, at 62, I think I’m doing pretty well with that. But it’s a struggle to keep a positive attitude and accept the changes in my body and appearance. Keep on keepin’ on! xo
Hello Barbara and thanks for stopping by. It is a stressful time in our history, I totally agree. To keep on keepin’ on is the best daily advice! Stay safe, xx.
Your face looks beautiful and reflects your articles inner beauty . I unfortunately did too much sunbathing in my youth and have the wrinkles to prove it. However, I have learned to lovingly accept my self ,enjoy life and enhance my outer beauty by healthy living, moisturizers, fashion ,aesthetic jewelry and designer sunglasses.
Aww, thank you Joan, and thanks for coming over. Loving acceptance of ourselves makes our adult years joyful! Stay well and safe, xx.
hi from cold michigan. being a former smoker and heavy tanner-im 68-everyone seemed to tan back then-i have a lot of wrinkles and sagging but i am happy to be this age and looking like myself not just weird! just had my second vaccine! now to get everyone else done…. love your hair mine is abt the same but gray did you cut it yourself? how??
Hi Carol and thanks for coming over! Yeah, February is the month most northeners would rather be here in Florida : > Great that you’ve had your second vaccine, I bet that’s a feeling of relief. LOL about my hair (but thank you): I just take sharp shears and hack off an inch every couple of months. Curls are forgiving! Stay well, xx.