Things I don’t do anymore (or do a lot less). In our youth, we are naturally focused on building a career, family, and for most of us, fitting in with general society. In our later years, we can let go of some of the “needs” that seemed so pressing, so desperately desired. We become more choosy, more independent, more authentic, more free.As we approach the middle-to-end of that Snickers bar, we grow in self-awareness, curiosity, perceptiveness, and can even become cosmic in our world views. Others’ approval of us becomes less important to our happiness (this is true! and wonderful!) although we can gain more authentic kindness and empathy. We have more room now.
Every day seems to fly by, so we enjoy every sandwich. And we choose to free ourselves from old behaviors that steal our joy.
Here are eight things I’m choosing to not do anymore, to make more room for the good stuff:
Creating or tolerating drama. Deep breath, this is not the apocalypse, and we have made it through this far. We’ll get through it again, and leave the drama for Netflix (love you, Netflix!)
Spending money to fix a feeling. The thrill of a new purchase does lift our spirits for a moment, but diminishes quickly. We probably own all we need by now, and shopping is no longer an all-day sprint.
And, conversely, being too cheap with myself. I am the Queen of Denial. That is, denying myself experiences and things because I needed to “save for the future.” The future is now, my friends. I’m not advocating emptying our IRA accounts, and living in the South of France. But it’s OK to fly comfort class once in a while, or drink the really good wine.
FOMO. Fear of missing out. I am free from it! I’ve been part of many exciting adventures, with more to come. I am not missing out by reading a great novel, or having a coffee in Washington Square Park.
Managing other people and their issues. I offer others a welcoming ear and a hug, but I’m not in charge of fixing their stuff. Unless you are a cat, then I work only for you, 24/7.
Saying yes when I mean no. I’ve learned it’s so much better to say no upfront than to give a wimpy yes and try to get out of it later. And we don’t have to give a detailed, tortured explanation to the statement “no.”
Comparing my life to others, in home decor, style, “things”, beauty, net worth. The comparing has gradually gone away, as I accept and am grateful for what I have been given, and achieved. Only exception: when I see thick, full curls on a grown-up woman, I want them!
Majoring in the minors. I am more zen about the little things: the window drips a little when it’s cold out, Sandy doesn’t turn his shirts inside out for washing, did I word that Instagram comment just-right? It’s all small stuff. I seek to major in the big stuff.
Are there things you’ve chosen to not do anymore? Please share in the comments.
Keep joy in your heart, and stay fabulous, xo,
Here’s some cool pieces to browse:
Please be aware that links to vendors may be affiliate links. I may benefit from your purchases through the links on the blog. Header image via this site.