Crazy Beauty Rituals and Calming Beauty Moments

Crazy beauty rituals and calming beauty moments. When I was much younger I used to devour the pages of fashion magazines – especially Glamour and Vogue – hoping for the magic, the secrets, that would make me more beautiful. And the headlines promised it: “Seven Steps To Perfect Skin”, “How To Have Farrah Fawcett’s Hair,” “Get A Bikini Body In Ten Minutes A Day.” Though I never experienced a transformation, the articles kept coming every month, with new crazy hopes.

The lady-mags were/are savvy about their clever promises. And they weren’t the first. The quest for magical beauty is eternal and ancient, as revealed in these bizarre practices:

  • Crocodile dung baths. The ancient Greeks and Romans would slather themselves with dirt and croc feces to beautify their skin. I never saw a wrinkly Ancient Roman, so . . ?
  • Dimple machines. This one didn’t catch on. She looks bored, like “Where are my dimples already??” 
She’s sad that her dimples haven’t appeared yet.
  • Tapeworm diet, I am not making this up. Apparently, the tapeworms had to be removed at a later date in “an unpleasant fashion.”

There are a few odd beauty treatments I’ve dabbled in, that aren’t offered at the Ritz Club Paris. These include the Pepto Bismol facial mask for oily skin (I miss my oily skin) and Preparation H for under-eye bags. I have taped my hair down to straighten it, and splashed my face with ice water – it worked for Paul Newman.

As I age, though, life in the beauty lane is actually getting simpler. I choose routines that are basic and soothing, and mostly inexpensive, supplemented with bi-annual, expensive, Botox treatments. I’ve saved lots of $$$ during shelter-at-home by “coloring” my own hair with Manic Panic, and trimming the ends regularly. Don’t ask to see my pedicure-free toes, though. 😊

I make a habit of slowing down to enjoy some of my beauty rituals, like:

  • Moisturizing my body and hands with something that smells good.
This cream is lovely.
  • Fingernail polishing, in a soft pink shade that doesn’t quickly show chips.
Here’s a great neutral color with medium-good longevity.
  • Hair washing, to include a good head massage. Always with a gentle, sulfate-free shampoo or shampoo bar.
But my outfit is not this glam.
  • Steaming my face over a hot cup of tea.
  • Perfuming myself at my wrists and back of my neck (no lingering croc dung odors for this petite flower), even at bedtime.
  • Massaging my face with argan oil for a minute or two. I use gentle, upward movements, like this.
This is my current favorite, at a nice price too.

Have you experimented with any unusual beauty rituals? Please spill your story, especially if it works. And do you enjoy calming beauty routines too?

Stay fabulous and safe, and wash and wash and wash, xo

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  1. A good rule of thumb for alone time is to take a day for yourself between every couple of days you spend together.

  2. I like to put a few drops of essential oil on a small piece of light-weight card stock and tuck it into the tissue box, under some of the tissues. Every time I use a tissue, I get a whiff of a favorite fragrance.

  3. Oh, Jeez. Early 70s. Ironing my long thick curly hair — WITH AN ACTUAL IRON — & trying to not burn my ears off. None of that sissy electronic flat-iron nonsense for us back then. It was easier if you had a room-mate to help, which I never did, & how we weren’t all bald or undergoing treatment for 3rd degree burns I will never know. And it never worked for long, an hour at the most before the humidity hit & my long silken locks were just a thick mass of frizzy curls again. And beer cans. Ever wear a headful of (empty!) beer cans held in with tape for hours before that big date? No? You didn’t miss much. The secret was to rinse them out well beforehand or risk smelling like a brewery. Which a lot of guys didn’t mind, come to think of it (and we thought we were popular just because we were cute . . . LOL!).

    • LOL! Hi Janet, and you are me, in the early 70’s. My hair wasn’t thick but I ironed it anyway and “set” it on orange juice cans (remember those?). I hope you are rocking your curls now, and loving life. xo

  4. For awhile, over ten years ago, I made homemade soap, then got bored with that hobby but saved all the soap I had made. Recently, someone recommended using bar soap instead of pump soap as an environmental effort to eliminate plastic bottles. I thought, “I can do that.” Within days of switching to homemade soap, the itchy rash on my hands and arms went away. Tried it on my face with same result. Now use it on my hair; my scalp no longer itches and my hair is shiny and not dry. I grate the bars & add boiling water, then stir until the soap is dissolved to make pump soap.
    Olive oil, water and lye. That’s all that’s in my soap. Even “natural” soaps are full of chemicals.

    • Interesting, Carol, and thanks for sharing! It sounds like you’ve solved a number of skin needs with your own soap, and no chemicals. Stay well, xo.

    • Hi Eva and thanks for coming by! Yeah, hucksters have always been with us. Stay well and fab, xo.

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