What Patti Won’t Do (I’m No Oprah!)

All credit for today’s post goes to the beautiful and witty Elissa of Dress With Courage. You have to read her post about the “Oprah List” and what is means to be a diva (also check out that awesome cat photo). Apparently, according to Kitty Kelly, Ms. Winfrey is a prima donna who refers to herself in the third person, e.g.: “Oprah does not do stairs”. You can read the hilarious-if-spurious story at Elissa’s site.

Elissa was inspired to announce the things that “Elissa doesn’t do.” She encouraged us to contribute our own diva lists. I wondered if I should ask my beloved husband what my diva behaviors are. I decided against it: he thinks putting on lipstick is borderline diva.

So here is my sincere “we don’t play that” list. These are just my thangs. I have a lot of love for some people who do the following with regularity:

  1. Patti doesn’t go camping. Except at the Holiday Inn.
  2. Patti doesn’t wear short-shorts, stilettos or tube tops outside the house.
  3. Although a great sports fan, Patti doesn’t play beach volleyball in any kind of swimsuit.
  4. Patti doesn’t wear tee shirts with cartoon characters on them.
  5. Or faux-funny sayings, like “I’m with Stupid.”
  6. Patti doesn’t do country music concerts, state fairs or any (husband quote) “outdoor beer festivals”.
  7. Patti doesn’t do loud, bloody, car-chase movies, especially sequels.
  8. Patti doesn’t eat meat (but does wear leather shoes . . . )

Hmmm, do I sound like a princess/city slicker/snob? I’m not! I’m from Nutley, New Jersey! But one of the thrills of being 50 is you know what you like and who you are, and you can pass on a lot of the rest  : >

Please go read Elissa’s article, and let me know what your “don’t’s” are. Happy Wednesday.

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6 Comments

  1. Two birds, thanks for stopping by! Your blog is a lot of fun to read, I'm going to follow it. : >

    Sheila, nothing like a warm beer spilled down your shirt to solidify your position on the 'fest! xoxo

  2. I don't camp either. Camping is for suckers! 😛

    I laughed at your beer fest one – I refuse to go to anything with "fest" in the title. Too many people, crowds, and it's just annoying.

    Have a great weekend, honey!

  3. aaack! Thanks for the pantyhose reminder. What sadist invented control tops?
    I can say I have never waxed anything except my car — am I missing a life-changing experience???

  4. Anne doesn't watch Adam Sandler movies. If she wanted to spend 2 hours with a lunkhead, there are plenty of real ones out there and she could save herself $10.

    Anne doesn't wear control top pantyhose. Just thinking about wearing them makes her borderline homicidal.

    Anne doesn't engage in gratuitous waxing. Life is too short, and there is not enough tequila in the world.

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