What’s Your Dreaded Wardrobe Malfunction?

What’s your dreaded wardrobe malfunction? Did that phrase (“wardrobe malfunction”) originate at the 2004 Superbowl? I’ll have to perform fashion due diligence to find out, but in any case, it’s caught on! Very few of us will have the opportunity to experience Janet Jackson’s degree of malfunction, but in an imperfect world, sartorial stuff does happen.

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

Here are some of my dreaded W. M.’s, taken from my actual daily life:

  • Wayward bra straps. Everything is nice and sleek as I leave the house, but upon arrival at lunch, the straps are peeking out, and pretty much stay that way. Some marvelous dresses and blouses have bra strap holders that snap your strap into place. Should be required.
This looks adorable on her, but it’s not for me. Source.
  • Tights that creep down the leg as the day goes on. I have sometimes been inspired to remove these offenders mid-day, and gone bare-legged on occasion. These hose give me a very insecure feeling.
  • Singing shoes. You have to have a sense of humor if your shoes squeak a happy tune as you walk the halls. Sometimes this goes away with repeated wearings, but I haven’t found a cure yet. Any ideas?
Pete is adorable. Do his Chuck Taylors sing? Source.
  • Surprise see-through skirts. It looks fine and modest in the morning, at home. Suddenly, the Seven-Eleven clerk is giving me the eye, and I notice I’m fairly sheer below the waist. Slips are the cure! But I have forgetten sometimes.
  • Won’t-stay-tucked-in shirts. Arrgggh. I don’t like to tuck-in six times an hour. This kind of shirt is fine if your life requires you to sit (or lie) perfectly still for 6 hours. I usually opt for soft knits and tees, slightly on the long side.
  • The ultimate: skirt tucked into tights while exiting the restroom! I don’t have to tell my story on this one, do I?

“If I think about it too much, I can’t get dressed.”

-Daphne Guinness

Please tell me you’ve had a few W. M.’s yourselves? Can you add to the list? We tend to learn more from our “mistakes” than our successes.

Stay fabulous, xo

Wear what you love, always. Here are some goodies to browse:

 

Please be aware that links to vendors may be affiliate links. I may benefit from your purchases through the links on the blog. Header photo via Snowflake Dogs. What a great face.

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patti

25 Comments

  1. Wearing a button-front shirt and a cross-body bag. Even if I have a coat over the top, if the coat is not fully closed, the bag strap will undo the buttons at my chest. Not a one-off but frequent. I probably need flatter boobs!

    • Hello Ruth and thanks for sharing your button-up shirt story, and giving me a good laugh with your last sentence! Stay fab, xx.

  2. Many years ago, age @ 19, I bought a beautiful white swimsuit from my Mum’s Gratton catalogue. Couldn’t wait to wear it to the beach. But horror of horrors – upon emerging from the sea it had become rather see-through. I wrote the catalogue a very tongue-in-cheek letter about my experience!

    • Hi Lynn and thanks for coming over – and for sharing your white swimsuit moment. You are not alone! Have a lovely day, xx.

  3. Velvet creep – how velvety textures can ride up on you without you knowing. I was out shopping LAST WEEK and my dress was up around my waist! I didn’t notice for gawd knows how long – thank goodness for black opaque tights!

    • Hi Sheila! Merry Christmas to you and L and all your loved ones. I hadn’t thought of velvet creep! Black tights to save the day. Stay well and happy, xx.

  4. As someone who recently went an entire day wearing lace thong underwear inside out, I can relate to this post. The worst malfunction for me was the time I jumped into the pool with my kids, and my bikini top went awry.

    • Good morning Nicole and thanks for sharing your tales. Jumping in the pool and losing your top is a story that’s hilarious later but awkward in the moment! Have a great weekend ahead, xx.

  5. Let me see. Walking down Yonge Street in Toronto and feeling my panty hose sliding steadily & inexorably southward, grabbing them through my dress to keep from losing them entirely & walking into a meeting clutching myself as though gut-shot. Staying in an elegant hotel in Atlanta & dressing for a banquet, being interrupted by a phone call, then making a mad dash for the elevator because now I’m late. Flirting with an extraordinarily good-looking man in the elevator & arriving at the banquet room to have a friend grab me & point out that in my rush I’d forgotten to finish buttoning the top of my dress, which went well beyond saucy décolleté to half-clothed crazy lady. Me in a new wrap skirt standing on a street corner in Toronto waiting for the light to change & having a transit bus roar by in a gust of wind that neatly unwrapped me. Big-city protocol requires that no one in the crosswalk makes eye contact after an incident like this, but there were smiles. One of my Life Rulz: Always carry safety pins & wear pretty undies.

    • Hello Janet and thank you for these unforgettable moments. You’ve had an exciting life up north and I hope you have lots more (safe) fun ahead! The elevator story slays me. Stay fabulous and well, xx.

  6. You find the cutest dog pics, Patti! My fashion debacle happened when I was in the restroom before presenting my Master’s thesis and was extremely nervous and made it to the bathroom door preparing to exit when I looked down and my pantyhose were literally around my ankles! How did I manage to not feel that on the way to the door? Luckily, I discovered it in time or that might have been the quickest presentation in history!

    • Debbie, that is a spine-tingling wardrobe malfunction! Thanks for sharing it, and congrats on making it through your Master’s presentation. Have a wonderful weekend ahead, xx.

  7. Sitting on a kitchen stool in a church kitchen, chatting with others, especially a handsome man. I looked down to see that my zipped fly was open with pink panties showing. Why did no one tell me?

    • Hi Carol. Why indeed?? They were jealous of your rapport with the Handsome Man! Great story, thanks for coming by and sharing, xx.

  8. As always I so enjoyed your post quotes and goody shopping finds thank you. I smiled at that posted picture of that frowning Dog in that oversized coat and connected with that mistake of leaving a rest room with my skirt not pulled down properly. One of my other dreaded and experienced clothing mishaps is spilling something on myself while eating or drinking causing a big ugly blotch. I have learned to remind myself to be very careful when eating and drinking.

    • Hi Joan, nice to see you. Oh I am a spiller, too, especially if i’m wearing something new and fresh! Have a great day, xx.

  9. Many, many years ago, while a young teen ,my girl’s school had a mixer dance with a local boy’s high school. while dancing with my partner, my crinoline, which is what we wore under our skirts in those long gone days, chose that moment to loose it’s elastic and fall to the ground in the middle of the dance floor!

  10. Inside out clothes is my wardrobe malfunction nightmare and reality. Also, leaving the long, clear, size sticker on a new purchase.

    • Hello Mary – yes, yes, the clear size sticker gets me too. “Oh hey, I’m an M, in case you wanted to know”, it says. : > xx

  11. After exiting the ladies room at the airport, a young gentlemen motioned to me to come over and embarrassedly informed me that about 3 feet of toilet paper was hanging out from my waist. Ugh!

    • I guess wearing a too short, too small Rent the Runway dress to a company Christmas party (the backup dress wouldn’t stay on my shoulders, whole top half kept trying to fall down) ….also experienced the dress tucked into pantyhose, walking down a flight of stairs and through the PX before a woman tapped me on the shoulder to let me know. And of course the dread rogue tampon string escaping from a pair of shorts. At least it was white ‍♀️

      • Hi Rebecca – yes it’s too awful when our clothes won’t fit or even stay on our bodies! Thanks for coming over, and have a lovely day, xx.

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