How Do You Spend Your Alone Time? By A Friendly Introvert

I’m a friendly introvert. A Myers-Briggs INTJ. I get energized from alone time, and my batteries wear down after parties and get-togethers. Being an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t like people, I love quite a few of them! Here’s a good description of a Myers-Briggs Introvert:

I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with. . . Ideas are almost solid things for me. Sometimes I like the idea of something better than the real thing. . . I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own.

And here are a few of the things I enjoy doing alone, or with only Sandy at my side. He’s quiet, and often absorbed in his own thoughts too, so sitting next to him can count as being “alone”, but in the good ways.

Reading on Kindle. I never thought I’d become a cell phone reader – the teeny-tiny screen and all the swiping. But now I’m hooked and it’s so great to have a built-in reading light. I’m currently reading a couple of style books, and a thriller, “A Tap on The Window,” by Linwood Barclay. I love a mystery with twists and surprises.

Watching Netflix and Amazon series. My current favorites are Mozart in the Jungle – highly recommended for music lovers, NYC lovers, and everyone else – and Babylon Berlin, a dark thriller set in 1929. I can’t watch anything with commercials, so spoiled now, except for a good baseball game.

The cast of Mozart in the Jungle. I love Bernadette Peters.

Singing and related musical activities. I try to sing out every day, as well as exercise my voice and watch vocal training videos. Yesterday I sang out too much – inspired by Rita Moreno to try “America” – and today I’m on vocal rest. Relief, say my neighbors. I find music energizing and emotional. Watch Ms. Moreno set it on fire in this clip:

True confessions: online shopping and Pinning. Gah, I am trying to cut down on the browsing and pinning, as I think it teases out my acquisitional side. It’s OK to just look and appreciate, right? right?
What do you like to do in your alone time?

Stay fabulous, be yourself in your moments alone, and enjoy every sandwich, xo

Some pretty pieces to browse through:

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  1. This is me! I’m so happy that there are other like-minded souls out there. I am a friendly person, will chat with anyone who gives off good vibes, but I find socialising tiring. One to one is better than large groups. I have always been happy with my own company, maybe an only child thing ? I love to potter, feed my cats, read, watch Netflix, currently Grace and Frankie, peruse and sort my closet, and now it’s getting warmer I’ll be in the yard tending my pots.I also like solitary walks, or with my husband, and sitting in a cafe people watching, but only if I’m in another town, I would feel conspicuous sitting on my own here where I live, would really stand out !

  2. I would say that “friendly introvert” describes me very well too. When I’m not at work, I spend most of my time alone, reading, watching a movie or Netflix series, learning how to use my sewing machine, or playing with the cat. I prefer spending time with one friend at a time.

  3. ENFJ. Just took the test for the second time after at least 20 years since the first time. Yup. Describes me pretty well.

  4. Gotta love Rita Moreno! Makes one happy just to watch her joie de vivre – then and now.

    I am definitely an introvert who requires alone time (most of time). Time is spent reading, sewing, painting, journaling, traveling overseas (and I don’t mind being alone for that either) and simply living in silence. Of course, I am married to an extrovert, but luckily (for me at least), I just retired and he is still working so I am enjoying plenty of time to myself. Since I don’t watch TV and he does, in the evenings we generally spend some time together talking at dinner time before he goes to his black hole and I retreat to my own quiet space. I think that having raised four children (3 boys, 1 girl), my need for quiet built up over the years and now I am making up for all the noise I endured during their youth. 🙂

    • I like that theory about kids and wanting quiet after they’ve grown. I’ll investigate with some other parents! Sounds like you have a peaceful, full life. xo

  5. I definitely need my alone time—with my kitties and closet. Do you know that sometimes I just stand in my closet and dream of different ways to put outfits together? I know—-true craziness!!!!
    But I used to do the same thing with my yarn stash (and it’s a huge stash). I’d put together skeins of yarn and browse through my knitting patterns…’s such a creative treat for me. Needless to say when we downsized, my yarn is now housed in my mother’s basement, so it’s not as easily available…

  6. Wow I have never met another INTJ at least until now. Thanks for describing some shared characteristics 🙂 Sam the Aussie

  7. I feel like that too – I like to read in my “me time”, or go shopping solo (but I also enjoy some company), or watching TV with L (like Sandy, he’s quiet).

  8. I am an INTJ also and friendly introvert is a good description. The internet is a good place to find introverts and thus we can perhaps conclude that one method of spending alone time is being on the internet. I spend most of my time alone quite happily though now that I live with my partner I am never truly alone. I prefer being alone to being with the wrong person in any case. I spend most of my time writing, painting or reading, browsing articles, blogs and websites online as my version of watching tv. People exhaust me and often irritate me so I am selective in how much time I spend with others and with whom I spend it. I very much like to be out and about, just making friendly conversation with strangers, a store clerk or someone in a line up. I don’t always initiate it but will readily engage if someone else starts it. I also love to be alone in a crowd and for that reason I enjoy time in a city. I love to be anonymous and just people watch. Cafés are a favourite place though I sometimes find the too loud. I can sometimes fake a bit of extroversion if I feel I have to but the cost is high. I can talk endlessly if passionate about a subject and comfortable with another person but I can also be very quiet or just do a lot of smiling and nodding. If I am doing that I am probably not actually enjoying myself.

    • i share that “alone in a crowd” feeling and love to people-watch too. Love a good cafe or pub with a drink and a book. Thanks for coming by! xo

  9. Patti, thank you for this interesting and fun post. I am an INFP. I also love music and dancing. Singing is actually good for your health!! But, as INFP, I am one of only 2“nature freaks” in my entire extended family. Gardening, birdwatching, feeding the wild critters in my suburban area. In suburban Tucson, we get nocturnal visits from wild indigenous swine. They eat my rose bush and garden plants, but I don’t mind. I enjoy all wild critters.

    • How great that you love and care for the animals! They do make good company : >

  10. Introverts have a reputation for being anti-social but, as you so eloquently put it, we love people! As you said, it’s all about how you recharge your batteries.

    I’m INFJ and participate in many of the same activities you do to recharge. There is a dent in my couch that I call my charging station because that’s where I sit to read, watch TV, and play mindless games on my computer. Just 30 minutes can do so much.

    Thank you for the reminder about West Side Story and Rita Moreno. (Her Oscars outfit! LOVE!!) Also, thank you for the recommendation of Mozart in the Jungle. I’ve seen the first 2 seasons but was saving the new one to watch after I finished The Crown, which I watched in bite sized pieces rather than binging all at once because I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH. But now that I’m done, Mozart awaits.

    Here’s to introverts, the ways we recharge, and the love we have for people in spite of what our reputations says.


    • Rita Moreno’s dress – she’s fabulous!! We introverts are necessary to balance out the universe. xox

  11. I am glad to learn you are INTJ, Patti! My daughter is INTJ, and I am INTF, both are rare kinds, no wonder that we feel like “white crows” (Russian expression) at times. I am ambivert, more towards introversion. It’s funny how sometimes people think introverts are either unfriendly/socially awkward/shy – it’s not true of course, we just love our space and being left to ourselves, because as you said – it energizes us. People can energize me too, if it’s people and an activity that I feel passionate about. I sometimes miss people because I spend a lot of time alone these days, but mostly I enjoy my solitude and am not in a rush to go get “a social life” (Internet is often enough!). I spend my time alone very similarly to you – writing, reading, browsing, observing… The last book I really loved was Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. I love watching movies/shows and going on long walks from time to time, alone or with Justin, and I think we get along so well in my family because we all are introverts and respect each other’s space and have things we enjoy to do either alone or kind of next to each other, not necessarily doing things together.

      • We are “white crows” – i love that. I sensed you are an introvert, in all the good ways – so many writers are. xox

  12. Wonderful Patti! Sounds like we have very similar past times! I, too, am addicted to my Kindle! I’m truly a read-a-holic! I’ve usually got several going on my Kindle, one on my Nook and at least one “traditional” book going at the same time! And also a Netflix, Amazon Prime fan! The hubs and I are currently into “Devious Maids” (sadly almost done!), “Young and Hungry”, “The BlackList” and “Grace and Frankie”. AND I obsessively online “dream” shop. Lately its been ThredUp where I currently have a Wish List four pages long! Ha ha!

  13. A friendly introvert, that must be me! I feel comfortable being alone, and I’m very uncomfortable in groups. I can spend hours reading, and I love writing, which I only discovered when I started blogging. Wish I could sing, though 😉 xxx

    • I wonder if a lot of us bloggers are happy introverts? You can sing for sure, just let your soul shine through. xo

  14. If I remember correctly I’m a INFJ.
    I love going to bed early with a book (or Vogue), listening to podcasts in the bath, and taking walks in my lunch hour.
    Singing must be fun!

    • We’re very close, as my “T” is close to “F”. No wonder I enjoy your posts so much! xo

  15. Very nice! That introvert description fits me quite well. I’m especially aware of it every time I interact with my sister, who is the opposite in so many ways. In my alone time I design and make jewelry (which I promote and sell online), read books, and teach online classes in astrology and tarot reading. Of course teaching isn’t 100% “alone,” but teaching on the internet has a similar quality to it — in other words, I’m not face-to-face with a group of people, required to interact with them on someone’s else’s schedule for hours at a time. I do some online shopping as well. Writing is something I used to do with my “alone” time. I have written a dozen books, but I’m not writing these days for various reasons.

    • thanks for commenting, Scotti. I agree, when we’re around extroverts our differences are more apparent – but it’s all good. xo

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